This morning I woke up with an intense ache in my neck and shoulders, jaw tightly clenched. Anger has made a home in my body. Actually, I'm discovering that it has lived there for quite some time, I've just been oblivious to its presence.
While I write, a gentle rain falls outside my sun room window, and my furry companion Django sleeps at my feet. If only for a few delicious moments, I feel relaxed and calm. With greater frequency these experiences of tranquility have been slipping into my daily experience, intermingling with my chronic fear, guilt, and shame. A subtle shift is occurring in my life. Healthy friendships surround me, and I am slowly learning to care about myself.
The process of growth isn't what I expected. Ups and downs, intensely painful emotions, the ground crumbling beneath my feet, and failure and loss are all part of being alive. Life is messy, painful, and ultimately beautiful. Who knew?